2012 promises to be an interesting year for me. Although I have made a few resolutions (if I must call them that... It seems as though deeming something a resolution dooms it to fail immediately) I only want to talk about one today.
RISK.
I want to take more risks. Unfortunately I cannot take credit for this idea, but it came from Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project", which I read for a course last semester. Through the kitschy chapters, I rolled my eyes and tried very hard to disprove her evidence, but her idea to take more risks stuck with me.
I am not a risk taker. It's safer that way, but it also limits me in numerous ways. One of my least charming qualities is that I tend to take myself out of the equation before I can fail. Sometimes this means not trying at all. This especially happens for internships, awards, opportunities, etc. that I am very, very interested in. I am the best at rationalizing reasons not to try, but it's really because I would rather not try and not fail. Sometimes I can overcome this fear and apply anyways, and the times that I have done so, I usually find that it works out.
But this year, I say no more. There is no way for me to learn or grow without sticking my neck out and maybe getting hurt. I officially started this resolution a little bit early, but I am continuing to foster it as the year goes on, and hopefully I will get some reinforcement somewhere along the way
While I am not saying that everything I try that's new or ambitious will succeed, I have to believe that I will gain some cool new opportunities through taking more chances, and so here are the things about which I am currently swallowing my fear and trying to achieve:
1. Active Minds' Emerging Scholars: This is a program that chooses 6 Psychology projects to sponsor and gives a small stipend, internet space for discussing and sharing the project's progress and results, a day-long brainstorming session with other researchers, and some cool bragging rights.
Just submitted my application and I will know something by January 12th.
2. Humanity In Action Fellowship: This program sends 50 American students to one of five cities for a month over the summer to study minority and human rights in Middle-Western Europe. It's very similar to what I did in Strasbourg over the summer, but much more involved, prestigious, and (mostly) paid for! The thought of participating literally gives me chills, but with just under a 10% acceptance rate, it's also terrifying.
The application is due January 9th, and I still have to tweak my personal statement, write an essay, upload some documents, and finalize recommendations. I will find out by Feb. 14th if I'm a finalist.(Then interview, and final decisions will be made by March 14th.)
3. Who's Who Among College Seniors: We all know what this puppy is...And I turned in my form. We shall see!
4. BigSURS Conference: Despite almost missing the deadline twice, I've submitted my Honors abstract to present a poster at this conference in April. If my project gets accepted, it would be my first presentation at a conference.
I will find out in mid-February if I've been selected to present.
The moral of the story.. Not all of these opportunities will work out. Most of them won't. (Though if any two of them did, I would be absolutely ecstatic...) But I have gotten past the ridiculous degrading voice in my head telling me that I can't, and therefore still have a chance.
I'll keep you posted, and have a wonderful start to 2012!
